What makes love last a lifetime?
Affection? Yep.
Respect? Sure.
But a great relationship is not just about what you have. It's about what you do to make a relationship stronger, safer, more caring and committed.
THE STEPS;
Step #1: Find a shared dream for your life together.Respect? Sure.
But a great relationship is not just about what you have. It's about what you do to make a relationship stronger, safer, more caring and committed.
THE STEPS;
Step #2: Choose each other as your first family.
Whatever your challenges -- an overprotective mom? an overly critical father-in-law? -- you have to outline together the boundaries between you and all of the families connected to you. Not only will you feel stronger as a united front but when you stick to your shared rules, all that family baggage will weigh on you a lot less.
Step #3: Learn how to fight right.
Fighting right doesn't just mean not throwing produce; it means staying focused on the issue at hand and respecting each other's perspective. Couples that fight right also find ways to defuse the tension, says Wile -- often with humor. "Whenever one of us wants the other to listen up, we mime hitting the TV remote, a thumb pressing down on an invisible mute button," says Nancy, 52, an event producer in San Francisco. "It cracks us up, in part because it must look insane to others." Even if you fight a lot, when you can find a way to turn fights toward the positive -- with a smile, a quick apology, an expression of appreciation for the other person -- the storm blows away fast, and that's what matters.
Step #4: Find a balance between time for two and time for you.
Step #5: Build a best friendship.
Think about the things that make your closest friendships irreplaceable: the trust that comes with true intimacy, the willingness to be vulnerable, the confidence that the friendship can withstand some conflict. Don't those sound like good things to have in your relationship with your signficant other, too?
Step #6: Face down a major challenge together.
You're sailing along through life, and suddenly you hit a huge bump. A serious illness. Unemployment. The loss of a home. A death in the family. How do you cope?Hey, being a couple is no roll in the hay. It's tough, real work. But the reward, the edifice you build together that will shelter you through years of tough times, is more than worth the effort. The small, friendly cottage you build -- decorated with your shared history and stories, filled with color and laughter -- will be the warmest and safest retreat you can imagine.
